I had a revelation yesterday thanks to my contact lens specialist, Janice. I struggle daily in getting Missy to do her chores even though she has a list to mark off. She gets $25 every two weeks for doing about 3 chores a day taking about a total of 15-30 minutes. EASY MONEY (can you hear Billy Joel singing in the background). The last time she got the full $25 was probably 6-9 months ago. How ridiculous and frustrating is that?!
Well... Saturday Don and I were picking up and delivering furniture for Serve Wenatchee... a very satisfying and worthwhile ministry. Usually my job, as the lone woman, is talking with the people (usually women) while the men are coming in and out of their house with the furniture. Pretty easy. Well Saturday we had only four men show up (two were well over 60) so it was my day to dig in and WORK. After four hours of hauling furniture, I was spent. Walked into our house and what met me almost at the door? A filthy kitchen! With more dishes on the counter than when we left that morning. Missy, not realizing I was about to "blow a gasket" danced around while telling us how joyful and relaxed she was because she got to sleep in till 10am. ARGH! So what did I do? I cleaned the kitchen. Not because it's my passion but because whenever I ask Missy to do something, I get the typical teenage rolling of the eyes, huffing, irritated sighing, and excuses why she can't do it (currently those excuses include homework/study). I can't take it anymore. Calgon... please take me away!
After several consultations with my counselor (aka: Aunt Pat) and her reminding me that I need to TELL Missy to do extra jobs around the house instead of expecting her to "see" the need, I began afresh on Monday afternoon with a renewed spirit. After the girls got home from school and had some time to rest from the day, they began their chores. When that was done, I TOLD Missy to do several other jobs not normally on the list but things that had slid for several weeks and needed attention. As she worked (and yes, Tori was working too but this is about Missy right now) I worked also. I didn't want her to think I was treating her as a slave. She did these jobs with a happy heart and not once did she roll the eyes, sigh, or grumble. AMAZING!
Now what does all this have to do with Janice, my contact lens specialist? Insight! We got to talking about the above story while she worked on my eyes (she's great at multi-tasking). She asked about Don and how he is around the house. I mentioned his leaving stuff undone and lying around but I just pick it up and put it away or on his side of the bed to be put away by him later. No problem. It use to bother me (and still does) but I love him despite that frustration. Janice winked and got this "ah-ha" look on her face. "Dianna, is Missy more like you or Don?" Bells and whistles start going off in my head as I realize that there's yet another way that Missy takes after her papa. How could I have missed it all this time! So while I can't just pick up after her (let's face it, if I do, she'll never learn), I can encourage her just as I do Don. Work along side her. Work is not fun but done with someone else makes it so much better! And Aunt Pat's advice of just telling her to do it and tell WHEN it should be done is also good to remember. Is this some kind of miracle cure? Nope. She's still gonna try to get out of doing her chores. But it just might "smooth some of the edges" around here.
Missy hates being called a typical teen. But whether she likes it or not... she is. I thank God daily for this beautiful teenage girl... warts and all. Thanks Aunt Pat and Janice for opening my eyes!
Di
